Reflections on 10 years of marriage

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How does one say “I love you”, to someone who is incredibly special to you. Simple words seem to fall back upon me as dew on the grass.

Cindy and I are very unconventional people and so doing something conventional would lack sufficient meaning for us. Two years ago I began thinking about this moment. Why? It’s simple. For some time now marriage (and really the idea of commitment) has struggled to remain viable in our culture. It seems people change spouses like they do their socks.

The idea of committing to a single person for their entire life sounds absurd to some (probably even idealistic). It’s not as much “how can you love someone for so long” as it is getting “bored”. Typically, this perspective is a result of a relationship that is based almost entirely on emotions.

When speaking with others about my philosophy of love, I always stress that “love” is not something that just happens. It is not something that is purely emotional. These aspects of love have no foundation…they have no ability to remain viable under the weight of their antithesis.

Love therefore must be a choice. One must chose to love their spouse every day. It is simply not enough to rely on the emotional or aesthetic aspects of love – for these come and go like the wind. But…when you chose every day to love your spouse (even when it’s hard), then and only then can you experience true love – true intimacy. Loving this way makes your relationship stronger, so that when faced with hard times, you are able to rely on the foundation of your love.
I can think of nothing more meaningful than spending my life on this earth with someone as incredible as my wife. As a result, I chose to write her a poem. I spent about two years working on this poem. The greatest gift I can give my wife after 10 years of marriage are my words.

 

 

The longing in whom I find rest

 

Last night I had a dream…

I dreamed of an angel

Dressed in silky white

Walking alongside a hostile shoreline.

Her countenance was as lovely as it was bright

And she needed only to speak by the enchanting light

Dancing in her eyes.

She wore her beauty like the skies evening best.

And my heart leapt from the way her hips swayed

Along the contours of her white dress.

 

And when I awoke from my dream

I saw the angel lying next to me.

Fully adorned in the morning sun

I was overwhelmed by her love for me, which can be found all throughout our past

(For she is the longing in whom I find rest.)

Every moment…Every desire…Every sweet delight

Are mere divisions meant to divide

All that which comprises her.

For she has healed my soul’s harshest winters

Through the gentle whispers

Of her love.

 

Ten sun soaked summers ago

I walked through a door not widely opened.

For tender words had never been so softly spoken

Than through the vow of our kiss.

For I found peace in the hopes of unleashing my dreams

Of healing.

Of healing my souls longing to find rest in her presence

For I can’t imagine a single day spent without her.

A single moment where I do not suffer

Through her magnanimous love.

 

Now as I stare upon this fair skinned beauty I realize

Time is a story that is so often betraying;

We fail to realize when we are changing.

But not her…like the evening which dresses the sky

She has clothed herself in the beauty of time.

So let us enjoy our changing ages

And leave our story with only partially written pages;

Quieting ourselves upon the warm days befalling

For this is not the end,

But a new season that’s dawning.

 

 

 

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Reflections on 10 years of marriage